Unsettlingly gooey.

You know how parents are. Selfless, giving, unconditionally loving, and all. It's shaking. It's the best way to make you feel like a total jerk. I mean, you act like a total selfish, self-serving  person all your life and there they are still so kind to you. It's the biggest kind of torture. Like all the money that they'll keep aside for you and keep putting in your bank account so that your future is secured. The money that they've earned so hard. After sacrificing so many things. I mean, I don't even think i've been a nice child. But they still always look out for you just the same. And in some incomprehensible way- they love you. I mean. Wth. I don't think i'd do that much for my child, if I had one. It's not even human. It's almost godly. Why do people have to be so good? It just makes you feel horrible about yourself.
I guess, I'm just coming across "good" people nowadays. And it's shattering my belief system in life. There was this jewelery lady who was extremely kind, hardworking and sincere in her work. And I could see it that she's not faking that attitude just so she makes a sale. She was actually so diligent and compassionate at the same time. As if customer satisfaction was her only goal and the profit wasn't. I knew all along she was my friend's mom but she didn't recognize me as I was wearing the hijab and it had been more than eight years that she'd seen me. The next time I went to her, she realized who I was and was just so warm again. It shook the way I thought. I mean. Here was a woman whom I had nothing more in common with except a nationality and three languages. I couldn't find a person more different than me than her. But there she was. Her kindness warming my heart towards her. I saw genuine goodness in her. And I haven't had much experience with goodness in my life.
Then there's my neighbour. Her actions and thoughts do only repulse me. Yet, I know how good and affectionate she is towards me and my family and I know it as certainty that if anything had to befall my family, God forbid, she would be standing there right next to us, going out of her way, causing herself inconvenience, to make it easy on us. Like family. She's more of a good neighbour than I could ever be with all my religious education.
Then there's my other downstairs Christian neighbor. I went to her house on Eid to give them sheerkurma and she was so happy to see me. She invited me to her house on Sunday so that her kids could meet me after so long. We kinda grew up together- my brother, me and her kids. She was telling me how they'd been telling her 'Remember how we used to play with AZ and her brother when we were small!' I can't explain it. As if we were no different and we loved each other.
It's not easy when instead of the bad, you see the good side of people you have pronounced as 'bad'. It can be an experience that can alter the way you think. And feel. Quite possibly permanently.