I wrote the following a while back while reflecting upon the ziyarat that I'd just been to.
It's surreal how alive and living, in the true sense you feel when you're near Ahlul bayt and their true companions and lovers. But what is sad is that that phospherous effect declines as you go away from them. You dont want it to go. You want it to last all your life. You want that energy to sustain you till you die, live in that positivity and spiritual high and in that true conviction of knowing. So what do we tell ourselves for not being in that state always? That we're human. Really. Does that hold?
I remember that you feel so alive when you're near the friends of Ahlul bayt. Alive, in the real sense of the word. Like each particle and element in your body is breathing, palipitating, and acknowledging the truth. But what's killing is that just as you leave that blessed place and some time has passed you feel like you're back to your normal self again. Is is because the world today is so polluted that it just contaminates your vision? Or is it just ourselves? Is our nafs that weak that it fails in the fight with the enemy right in the first round? Are we so miserably defeated in our greater jehad? It's downright pathetic.
I can't even describe how it felt to visit Muslim ibn Aqeel (a.s). It was as if as a connection was established right there, at the first time. All I could ask him was that I wanted him! I wanted him to be my neighbour in heaven. And Mukhtar Thaqafi (a.s). It was like- if I had a knife there and if it was physically possible, I would cut out my heart and place it in front of him and tell him "Here. Here's all that I have and that's my everything and everything that represents me. Take it. I don't need it anymore. I can do without it."
That's the best part about being near Ahlulbayt (a.s). You feel like you own nothing. Because in reality you do own nothing! You're just a traveler in this world who'll go back to his grave with nothing but his deeds. It's like at that time things appear to you in truth. There is no external Shaitan present at that moment trying to trick you. Just the Shaitan within your own self. And if your heart is relatively uncontaminated, you won't even feel that threat. I remember how much less time I had at the mosque of Kufa for ziyarat. All I rememeber from those few minutes of ziyarat was whimpering like a petulant child who didn't want to go away. In their company, the world seemed like the rightful downtrodden entity that it is. All you want is them and all you can think of is your one final goal- Heaven.
P.s- The picture was taken from my hotel room which directly faced the rawdha of Imam Husayn in Karbala.
It's surreal how alive and living, in the true sense you feel when you're near Ahlul bayt and their true companions and lovers. But what is sad is that that phospherous effect declines as you go away from them. You dont want it to go. You want it to last all your life. You want that energy to sustain you till you die, live in that positivity and spiritual high and in that true conviction of knowing. So what do we tell ourselves for not being in that state always? That we're human. Really. Does that hold?
I remember that you feel so alive when you're near the friends of Ahlul bayt. Alive, in the real sense of the word. Like each particle and element in your body is breathing, palipitating, and acknowledging the truth. But what's killing is that just as you leave that blessed place and some time has passed you feel like you're back to your normal self again. Is is because the world today is so polluted that it just contaminates your vision? Or is it just ourselves? Is our nafs that weak that it fails in the fight with the enemy right in the first round? Are we so miserably defeated in our greater jehad? It's downright pathetic.
I can't even describe how it felt to visit Muslim ibn Aqeel (a.s). It was as if as a connection was established right there, at the first time. All I could ask him was that I wanted him! I wanted him to be my neighbour in heaven. And Mukhtar Thaqafi (a.s). It was like- if I had a knife there and if it was physically possible, I would cut out my heart and place it in front of him and tell him "Here. Here's all that I have and that's my everything and everything that represents me. Take it. I don't need it anymore. I can do without it."
That's the best part about being near Ahlulbayt (a.s). You feel like you own nothing. Because in reality you do own nothing! You're just a traveler in this world who'll go back to his grave with nothing but his deeds. It's like at that time things appear to you in truth. There is no external Shaitan present at that moment trying to trick you. Just the Shaitan within your own self. And if your heart is relatively uncontaminated, you won't even feel that threat. I remember how much less time I had at the mosque of Kufa for ziyarat. All I rememeber from those few minutes of ziyarat was whimpering like a petulant child who didn't want to go away. In their company, the world seemed like the rightful downtrodden entity that it is. All you want is them and all you can think of is your one final goal- Heaven.
P.s- The picture was taken from my hotel room which directly faced the rawdha of Imam Husayn in Karbala.
Well, sister A. Zahra, I feel so happy to stumble here, on your blog. It felt so great to read about something I feel so strongly towards, but can't quite pour it out with anyone. You just said everything that I, or all of us, feel. I remember those heavenly moments when I was in Iran for two weeks on ziyarat, back some four years ago. I was child back then, and couldn't savor that luxury well. But I do rememver I never wanted to step out of Roza Imam Ali Raza (A.S) haram. It felt like I was at my home, my destiny. And I never wanted to go back to Pakistan.
ReplyDeleteEven the environment there was just so different; and when we came back, it was like we were chucked down to dull, vicious earth.
You're very lucky, as I see from your profile, to learn Islam in the bestest of places; Qom, Iran. I just pray to Allah we get to have that chance once again, and that we get blessed to do ziyarat of entire Ahlulbayt (a.s)
And I want to appreciate your blog, for writing about them (a.s) and letting the world see the right path towards heaven.
Warm Reagrds,
A. Imam :)
That's a really kind and encouraging thing to say, Bubbles :) Thankyou xx
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