Thru the blue

How do you restrain yourself from falling in love with a place, or some people? How do you restrain yourself from getting attached to a place or its people? Do you put chains all over your heart? Or do you shame yourself everytime you feel warm and cozy somewhere? How do you stop yourself from finding comfort in comfort?  Struggle. A complete struggle, everytime.

It's exactly a month to go for leaving for Iran again, Inshallah. That's doing this to me. It doesn't stop. I feel like a lot of blue days are in store for me ahead. It's this city and it's whole setting that's doing this to me, I think.

You know what's the worst calamity in life? To live a life of regret. And guilt. And not being able to help the way you feel. Mom mentioned today that you never know that next summer when you come back whether you'll see dadi again or not. Like i've not been plagued by the thought of her declining health from the past two years already. You'll find not knowing to be the worst and best thing there is.